ROBERT. what are you doing.

[x]

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 17:21:37 -0400

[x]

brief appearance from the void to say hello, you are all lovely people, i’m sorry i...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 14:36:00 -0400

brief appearance from the void to say hello, you are all lovely people, i’m sorry i haven’t been around but i have deeply enjoyed all the submissions i’ve gotten recently, here’s a picture of robert downey junior with inexplicable head hair and visible chest hair wearing a blazer that is incredibly blue in nature and seducing you with the power of his eyes

someday i will return from the void in earnest and actually write a blog or two but i’ve been blogging for work and also blogging in my spare time would i think just be too much blogging

_{(my personal blog is here if you are here for the personality of the robert blogger but it is mostly weeping about literary theory and vikings and hannibal [hannibal, amirite] these days so, you know, whatever)}

ROBERT. the only positive thing i have to say about this...

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 08:04:00 -0400

ROBERT.

the only positive thing i have to say about this photograph is that your wife is, as ever, incredibly lovely because YOUR OUTFIT IS THE MOST TRAGIC THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. (excepting, possibly, your other tragic outfits and/or the film lawrence of arabia. but i digress.)

do you know how many insipid greeny browns you are wearing robert?

seven.

you are wearing seven different shades of the same color.

i honestly thought i had plumbed the horrific and unfathomable abyss of your color incompetence but NO, IT HAS REACHED APPROXIMATELY THE DEPTH OF THE MARIANA TRENCH, robert this is appalling.

here is a handy bullet list of all the horrible browny greens.

the wide stripe on the hat
the thin stripe on the hat
the hideous hat itself which would honestly be much improved by a good soaking of gasoline and perhaps a match
the background of your tshirt
the pattern on your tshirt which robert i cannot even tell what that is. it seems vaguely vinelike in nature and looks like something my enormously unartistic little sister would draw.
the fact that you have owned this shirt for ages which is inexcusable robert because you are a multimillionaire and can afford better clothes than this
the background of your pants
THE CROTCH-LEVEL STRIPE ON YOUR PANTS. honestly robert that stripe is incredibly ill-placed and also completely unnecessary. you are a movie star. everyone is going to be looking at your crotch anyway. there is NO NEED TO DRAW ATTENTION TO IT PARTICULARLY.

in fact the only thing on your body that is not an insipid greeny brown is the stripe of what might be your man purse, which i have to SIDE-EYE ON PRINCIPLE.

robert. just….just stick to purple for me, will you?

Please. Please. PLEASE COME BACK THERE IS NOT ENOUGH SNARK ON TUMBLR WITHOUT YOU. P.S. we love you!

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 08:00:43 -0400

JUST FOR YOU

Photo

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 17:24:55 -0400

NO HOLY SHIT YOU CANT LEAVE WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO ABOUT ROBERT'S HEINOUS CHOICES IN CLOTHING WITHOUT YOU TO AGREE WITH ME AND MAKE ME PISS MY PANTS BECAUSE YOU HATE MAN PURSES?

Sat, 15 Sep 2012 22:33:00 -0400

bless.

and bless all the rest of you who have left me encouraging little notes, I really really appreciate it!!!

BEHOLD! THE SUDDEN AND AMAZING DISAPPEARANCE OF THE ROBERT BLOGGER! yes, that’s right,...

Sat, 15 Sep 2012 17:32:49 -0400

BEHOLD! THE SUDDEN AND AMAZING DISAPPEARANCE OF THE ROBERT BLOGGER!

yes, that’s right, robertwhatareyoudoing is going on hiatus*, due to some fairly cataclysmic (in the best way!) upheavals in the life of your robert blogger.

it’s been fun, guys!! thanks for all the good times!

much love,
Jessie

*I can’t promise I won’t occasionally get hideously bored and make fun of robert in a starbucks or something.

pantagenets

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 14:18:00 -0400

now see i would be crying about this

but

pantagenets

PANTagenets

BREAKING NEWS THAT PROBABLY NOBODY CARES ABOUT EXCEPT ME i found the 1995 version of Richard III...

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 13:22:00 -0400

BREAKING NEWS THAT PROBABLY NOBODY CARES ABOUT EXCEPT ME

i found the 1995 version of Richard III where RDJ plays Lord Rivers.

otherwise known as

that one time robert did shakespeare.

yessssss

tmblake reblogged your photo: For your information, it is all the rage in Paris for men to wear...

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:48:00 -0400

tmblake reblogged your photo:

For your information, it is all the rage in Paris for men to wear brightly colored socks with their dark suits.

It is also all the rage for men to wear tight brightly colored pants

imagine
Robert Downey Jr. in neon pink skinny jeans.

I’M IMAGINING, I’M IMAGINING

i can’t tell if i like this mental image or not

this will trouble me for the rest of the day.

Because.

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 17:55:10 -0400

Because.

Sherlocks vs. Green Winter Coats

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 13:47:00 -0400

BENEDICT.

oh, heavens. this is that one time when you wore this ridiculous coat over your suit at a red carpet event, isn’t it? ALL BAD CHOICES. particularly with that fuzzy hood.

AND THE HAT. i think that among all the egregious outings of the hat this one is and always will be THE WORST because it bears no relation to the huge puffy green coat at all.

benedict. no. just no.

ROBERT.

dear heavens. you too are wearing a green coat over a suit—it isn’t a complete suit even, the PINSTRIPES ARE DIFFERENT, NO ROBERT SUITS ARE NOT MIX AND MATCH—and it too DOES NOT WORK AT ALL.

FURTHERMORE. you are ALSO WEARING orange accented basketball shoes. this is NOT APPROPRIATE ON ANY LEVEL, particularly when combined with a suit.

robert. please try to match. for the sake of my sanity.

JONATHAN.

…………………………….i don’t. understand. your moustache.

at all.

from what i can see, though, your coat isn’t the literal worst, although that color of green is slightly nauseating.

jonathan. i am so glad you no longer sport this moustache.

VERDICT: I honestly cannot even decide. Benedict’s hat! Robert’s shoes! Jonathan’s moustache! it is all awful. SHERLOCKS. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRESS.

I love this blog more than Robert loves purple (yes, that's possible). I only have one request, my dear. Can we please please please have more Sherlocks What Are You Doing? Your Sherlock snarkiness is epic and sorely missed.

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 23:05:00 -0400

YES.

tomorrow.

ROBERT. what even is this STRIPES, and more stripes, AND THEN...

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 22:35:48 -0400

ROBERT.

what even is this

STRIPES, and more stripes, AND THEN ALSO MORE STRIPES DOES NOT COUNT AS MATCHING, ROBERT, particularly when each set of stripes is COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER

for the record, black and then different black also does not count as matching. those shoes are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TONE OF BLACK FROM THE SUIT, robert.

i think you might be trying to seduce me but i can’t tell because i’m blinded from the stripes.

and your choice to wear hot pink socks.

robert. please chill with the stripes. i promise wearing solid colors won’t hurt.

2/50 Pictures of Robert Downey Jr [x] just a friendly reminder...

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 13:16:26 -0400

2/50 Pictures of Robert Downey Jr [x]

just a friendly reminder that Robert wore this outfit and thought it was okay.

clearly a delusional man.

Okay, first of all, I LOVE THIS BLOG. I laughed until I cried when I first found it. But I do have...

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 00:01:00 -0400

Okay, first of all, I LOVE THIS BLOG. I laughed until I cried when I first found it. But I do have a quick question- why does the concept of the manpurse bother you so much? Is it just an easy thing to pick on? —asked by Anon

I ANSWERED THIS AND THEN TUMBLR ATE IT, UGH

first of all, THANKS SO MUCH ANON! i am glad you love the robert blog.

ah yes, the manpurse. I think the concept of a manpurse is GREAT when the person wearing it is not robert. his bags tend to be altogether the wrong style.

here is hugh jackman wearing a GREAT manpurse.

good material, slim strap, goes with what he’s wearing, doesn’t take up too much space, fits comfortably on the body. A++ manpurse. high fashion also does a generally great job with manpurses.

here is a picture of robert wearing a manpurse that is NOT AWFUL.

i tried to snark at this outfit a month ago and it wasn’t working so i gave up. this iteration of the manpurse works fairly well with the other colors and textures robert has going on. it doesn’t take up too much space.

this is a picture of robert with a HIDEOUS MANPURSE.

it clashes with the suit he’s wearing. you can tell that even if he was posing rather than candid it wouldn’t flow particularly well with the rest of his outfit. the material doesn’t look great. overall, a less than quality manpurse.

most of robert’s pictures feature manpurses like the third one.

ROBERT. that guy standing next to you must be my alter ego...

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 23:39:43 -0400

ROBERT.

that guy standing next to you must be my alter ego because he is giving you the side-eye I ONLY WISH I COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU IN THAT MOMENT.

WHAT IS THIS.

your tracksuit is velvet. you are wearing a velvet tracksuit robert. i don’t know what the natural habitat of velvet track suits is but it CERTAINLY SHOULD NOT BE THE BODY OF ROBERT DOWNEY JR.

compounding the sheer SCALE of this fashion disaster, your shirt is BRIGHT BRIGHT PINK and has a skull on it. i can’t tell what’s on the shoulder of it but it looks FAR TOO MUCH like an homage to the desktop icons of a clunky Windows XP computer for me to be comfortable with it. the only other spot of color in this outfit robert is the PURPLE HIGHTOPS which under different circumstances might have been acceptable (and we all know how much you love purple, robert) but in this case…no.

FINALLY. robert. THE MANPURSE. WHAT IS THAT. i might just choose to believe you are holding susan’s purse for her for a moment because overall that is the worst iteration of your sketchy manpurse i have ever seen and I AM SIDE-EYEING IT ALL THE WAY TO THE MOON.

robert. please. take a look in the mirror from time to time.

karmatrix: When is a car commercial not a car...

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 01:51:00 -0400

karmatrix:

When is a car commercial not a car commercial?

When it’s this commercial and it stars several versions of Robert Downey Jr.

ROBERT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

robertsdowneysjr: robert downey jr plays a sassy black...

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 12:17:36 -0400

robertsdowneysjr:

robert downey jr plays a sassy black woman

NOT AN OUTFIT, TOTALLY WORTH WATCHING

Seven years.

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 13:18:15 -0400

iwantcupcakes:

On this day, August 27th: Robert Downey Jr. married Susan Levin in Amagansett, New York at the Windy Dune Estate after a two-year engagement. They first met on the set of Gothika (2003) in which Downey starred in and Levin produced.

Today, August 27th 2012: The Downeys welcomed their first child together, Exton Elias, earlier this year on February 7th. They also adopted two cats last year and named them Montgomery and Dartanian.

The entire family, including the cats, is currently in North Carolina where RDJ is filming Iron Man 3.