ROBERT.
the only positive thing i have to say about this photograph is that your wife is, as ever, incredibly lovely because YOUR OUTFIT IS THE MOST TRAGIC THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. (excepting, possibly, your other tragic outfits and/or the film lawrence of arabia. but i digress.)
do you know how many insipid greeny browns you are wearing robert?
seven.
you are wearing seven different shades of the same color.
i honestly thought i had plumbed the horrific and unfathomable abyss of your color incompetence but NO, IT HAS REACHED APPROXIMATELY THE DEPTH OF THE MARIANA TRENCH, robert this is appalling.
here is a handy bullet list of all the horrible browny greens.
- the wide stripe on the hat
- the thin stripe on the hat
- the hideous hat itself which would honestly be much improved by a good soaking of gasoline and perhaps a match
- the background of your tshirt
- the pattern on your tshirt which robert i cannot even tell what that is. it seems vaguely vinelike in nature and looks like something my enormously unartistic little sister would draw.
- the fact that you have owned this shirt for ages which is inexcusable robert because you are a multimillionaire and can afford better clothes than this
- the background of your pants
- THE CROTCH-LEVEL STRIPE ON YOUR PANTS. honestly robert that stripe is incredibly ill-placed and also completely unnecessary. you are a movie star. everyone is going to be looking at your crotch anyway. there is NO NEED TO DRAW ATTENTION TO IT PARTICULARLY.
in fact the only thing on your body that is not an insipid greeny brown is the stripe of what might be your man purse, which i have to SIDE-EYE ON PRINCIPLE.
robert. just….just stick to purple for me, will you?
8:04 am • 19 October 2012 • 48 notes
#robert downey jr
#rdj
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#i come from the VASTY DEEPS of my internetless apartment to bring you a robert
#i am being somewhat lax about my definition of 'the same color' but whatever
#i am also being somewhat unfair to my little sister who is in fact quite artistic but cannot really draw at all
Sherlocks vs. Green Winter Coats
BENEDICT.
oh, heavens. this is that one time when you wore this ridiculous coat over your suit at a red carpet event, isn’t it? ALL BAD CHOICES. particularly with that fuzzy hood.
AND THE HAT. i think that among all the egregious outings of the hat this one is and always will be THE WORST because it bears no relation to the huge puffy green coat at all.
benedict. no. just no.
ROBERT.
dear heavens. you too are wearing a green coat over a suit—it isn’t a complete suit even, the PINSTRIPES ARE DIFFERENT, NO ROBERT SUITS ARE NOT MIX AND MATCH—and it too DOES NOT WORK AT ALL.
FURTHERMORE. you are ALSO WEARING orange accented basketball shoes. this is NOT APPROPRIATE ON ANY LEVEL, particularly when combined with a suit.
robert. please try to match. for the sake of my sanity.
JONATHAN.
…………………………….i don’t. understand. your moustache.
at all.
from what i can see, though, your coat isn’t the literal worst, although that color of green is slightly nauseating.
jonathan. i am so glad you no longer sport this moustache.
VERDICT: I honestly cannot even decide. Benedict’s hat! Robert’s shoes! Jonathan’s moustache! it is all awful. SHERLOCKS. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRESS.
1:47 pm • 7 September 2012 • 36 notes
#Robert Downey Jr
#benedict cumberbatch
#Jonny Lee Miller
#rdj
#jlm
#sherlockswhatareyoudoing
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HAPPY I WAS WHEN I FOUND THAT PICTURE OF JONATHAN
#robert's coat might actually be grey?
#i have problems with color identification sometimes
#also i have queued this and i am in an INTERVIEW RIGHT NOW FOR THE ACTUAL PERFECT JOB OF PERFECTION
#AAAH
#also this is an elementary-friendly space
#if you're thinking about replying to this post with 'lolol elementary sucks!!1!!': don't.
#i couldn't find a picture of jeremy brett wearing a hideous green coat
#oddly specific google image search of the day
ROBERT.
what even is this
STRIPES, and more stripes, AND THEN ALSO MORE STRIPES DOES NOT COUNT AS MATCHING, ROBERT, particularly when each set of stripes is COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER
for the record, black and then different black also does not count as matching. those shoes are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TONE OF BLACK FROM THE SUIT, robert.
i think you might be trying to seduce me but i can’t tell because i’m blinded from the stripes.
and your choice to wear hot pink socks.
robert. please chill with the stripes. i promise wearing solid colors won’t hurt.
10:35 pm • 6 September 2012 • 59 notes
#HEY CHECK IT OUT REPLIES ARE ENABLED!!!!
#robert downey jr
#rdj
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#purple will be mad because you're cheating on it with pink robert
#also let it be known that i fully support the right of a grown man to wear bright pink socks
#these particular bright pink socks however do not go with the outfit at all
#if this outfit was plain white shirt; pinstriped suit; and solid pink socks; then it would be great
#but no.
#also as an art student i am v confused by the perspective on the box
#that can't be right??
#submission
ROBERT.
that guy standing next to you must be my alter ego because he is giving you the side-eye I ONLY WISH I COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU IN THAT MOMENT.
WHAT IS THIS.
your tracksuit is velvet. you are wearing a velvet tracksuit robert. i don’t know what the natural habitat of velvet track suits is but it CERTAINLY SHOULD NOT BE THE BODY OF ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
compounding the sheer SCALE of this fashion disaster, your shirt is BRIGHT BRIGHT PINK and has a skull on it. i can’t tell what’s on the shoulder of it but it looks FAR TOO MUCH like an homage to the desktop icons of a clunky Windows XP computer for me to be comfortable with it. the only other spot of color in this outfit robert is the PURPLE HIGHTOPS which under different circumstances might have been acceptable (and we all know how much you love purple, robert) but in this case…no.
FINALLY. robert. THE MANPURSE. WHAT IS THAT. i might just choose to believe you are holding susan’s purse for her for a moment because overall that is the worst iteration of your sketchy manpurse i have ever seen and I AM SIDE-EYEING IT ALL THE WAY TO THE MOON.
robert. please. take a look in the mirror from time to time.
11:39 pm • 30 August 2012 • 75 notes
#i literally cried from laughing so hard when i got this in my inbox
#rdj
#robert downey jr
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#not what i expected from my inbox
#at all
#ROBERT HOW HAVE YOU STOOPED SO LOW
#I AM ASHAMED AND APPALLED ON YOUR BEHALF
#submission
#a-northern-soul
ROBERT.
I will grant you the grey suit (with matching belt!) and the sunglasses but.
what is that hideous shirt.
the pattern itself is admittedly NOT HORRIBLE, but it is the kind of pattern that belongs on an ACCENT PILLOW adorning a black futon in a tiny pseudo-minimalist apartment. NOT ON THE BODY OF A MOVIE STAR.
and you have only exacerbated things by wearing with it that hideous patterned tie, which IN NO WAY GOES WITH THAT SHIRT AT ALL. wrong color, wrong pattern, wrong everything.
robert. i am beginning to suspect you are patternblind in addition to colorblind, because otherwise there is no excuse for this monstrosity.
4:50 pm • 8 August 2012 • 30 notes
#i have in fact posted about this shirt twice
#but multiple people have sent it to me recently so i was like 'I CAN DO THIS AGAIN NO BIGGIE'
#i called it the 'hideous half-moon fuckery shirt'
#robert downey jr
#rdj
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#submission
ROBERT.
i am side-eyeing your pants because i suspect they are sweatpants.
the rest of your outfit does not even WARRANT A SIDE-EYE, MY EYES ARE CLOSED, because, robert, you have managed to hit the hideous green jackpot by wearing TWO SHADES of UGLY GREEN at the SAME TIME.
and can i just say that olive/cerulean/chartreuse combination is possibly the worst thing I have seen, because while any two of those colors go together well, the THREE OF THEM COMBINED is just a device created to inflict torture upon the human retina.
furthermore from what i can see of your shoes they resemble the sketchers i wore in junior high.
robert. i refuse even to think about your hat.
9:25 pm • 6 August 2012 • 28 notes
#this has sat in my inbox for a LONG TIME WHILE I TRIED TO TYPE ABOUT IT WITHOUT THROWING MY COMPUTER OUT THE WINDOW
#rdj
#robert downey jr
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#i am not sure if backpack deserves same level side-eye as manpurse?
#also shoes
#what are those shoes
#submission
#loki-holmes
#upon further consideration and some astute googleing they're probs his gucci hightops actually
#but
#i have never liked those gucci hightops
#so
#whatever
Anonymous asked: I'd just like to point out that RDJ often googles himself, which i'm pretty sure you know, so I'd guess the time will come when he get's across this blog. And the fact that in every commentary you are talking to him, he'll find this all very amusing. Bless him. Perhaps he'll give an explanation soon. (love the whole blog by the way in case is unclear)
NO, ACTUALLY, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT
hi robert.
1:24 pm • 2 August 2012 • 26 notes
#THINGS I DID NOT KNOW
#i am a little terrified about this
#HOPEFULLY HE WILL FIND IT FUNNY
#robert downey jr
#rdj
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#robert blog is still kind of on hiatus while i write essays about shakespeare
#I HAVE A WORD ALLOWANCE okay i can only write SO MANY WORDS
#and shakespeare has been getting all of them recently
#the ONE ROBERT FACT that i DID NOT KNOW
ROBERT.
I am not sure cosplaying as a badly organized box of crayons was your most brilliant idea.
generally I defend the right of people to look completely hideous while traveling via air because planes were created for the express purpose of ruining the human joint system BUT THIS, ROBERT, MIGHT BE UNFORGIVABLE.
that scarf is ridiculously orange and it does not AT ALL MATCH your dark green jacket. or your t-shirt, which looks like it was badly airbrushed.
I’ll forgive the lime green bag BUT NOT THE BLUE MANPURSE, robert, what is that. I am side-eyeing it in the time-honored tradition of how I feel about your manpurses.
robert. next time please be a little bit more consistent in your color choices.
1:00 pm • 24 July 2012 • 168 notes
#nice jeans though
#and good hair
#robert downey jr
#rdj
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#WOW I HAVEN'T POSTED IN AAAAGES
#sorry for the extreme hiatus
#have been watching the hollow crown and writing essays about it
#because SHAKESPEARE
#seriously
#your robert blogger highly recommends the hollow crown.
#submission
ROBERT.
everything about this is a tragedy, from the amber-tinted glasses to the offwhite suit jacket to the unbuttoned shirt to the FRANKLY RATHER BIZARRE TSHIRT to the expression on your face. (although that last is admittedly quite amusing.)
the point of wearing a shirt unbuttoned, robert, is to show the shirt underneath. the point of wearing a jacket unbuttoned, robert, is the same thing. YOU DO NOT GET DOUBLE POINTS FOR DOING BOTH. furthermore it seems as if you have made a hideous mockery of ordinary suit etiquette by choosing to wear a black shirt with a white suit instead of a black suit with a white shirt. while I am all for the postmodern, robert, and the reversal of overarching societal constraints THIS WOULD BE BETTER ACCOMPLISHED without the extra layer of unbuttoning.
robert. this just looks sloppy. either take off the middle layer or wear a suit like a normal human being.
6:02 pm • 18 July 2012 • 27 notes
#WOAH HEY NEW FOLLOWERS I FEEL PRESSURED TO MAKE A POST
#so here I go with my post
#I HOPE IT IS SNARKY
#robert downey jr
#rdj
#robertwhatareyoudoing
#i quite like this tshirt actually
#i would probs wear it
#it is FAR BETTER THAN MOST OF ROBERT'S TSHIRTS TO BE HONEST
#also wtf is robert's face.
