ROBERT. what are you doing.

ROBERT.

I know exactly what you were thinking at this moment.

you were thinking, “Maybe if I hold five lemons and stick my ass out in an appealing way nobody will notice I’m wearing brown on brown.”

NOPE ROBERT. DIDN’T WORK. WE ALL NOTICED.

and NOT ONLY are you wearing brown on brown like an insane person but you are also wearing a black scarf to go with all of this. and I bet those sunglasses are the purple ones.

also why are you holding five lemons. do you have plans in the future to bake a massive number of lemon meringue pies because that is the only reason I can think of to be holding five lemons.

OH AND IS THAT YOUR MANPURSE? I am still side-eyeing that like there is no tomorrow.

robert. just go bake your pies and leave me to weep over your fashion incompetence in peace.

11:28 pm • 28 May 2012 • 313 notes
#sorry for the hiatus #internet at my house is...unreliable #Robert Downey Jr #rdj #robertwhatareyoudoing #five lemons robert #five lemons #i have it on good authority that those pants are actually velour

ROBERT.

your shirt is so pink. why is your shirt so pink.

and what are all those letters. the only coherent word I can read is “ceramic” which as far as I can tell bears absolutely no relation to anything you are doing. I am legitimately mystified.

and that BANDANNA! christ. WHY ARE YOU WEARING IT. I mean I know it matches your sunglasses BUT YOUR SUNGLASSES ARE HIDEOUSLY BANANA YELLOW why would you want anything to match them.

robert. I can’t even. just go away and put on something that makes you look like a normal person please.

2:35 pm • 25 May 2012 • 10 notes
#my wisdom teeth are still KILLING MEEEE #so my snark is a bit broken #rdj #robert downey jr #robertwhatareyoudoing #jessie nobody cares about the wisdom teeth stfu

ROBERT.

when I lipsync I too love to wander around a gigantic empty house.

on a side note: OUTFIT. WEAR AGAIN. NICE HAIRCUT. OVERALL ATTRACTIVENESS LEVEL IS QUITE HIGH.

8:47 pm • 24 May 2012 • 13 notes
#i'm pretty sure it's not actually rdj singing #after all this is an elton john song #rdj #robert downey jr #painkillers have KICKED IN and I feel all woozy #rdj is an attractive human being #but only when his hair is short like this #robertwhatareyoudoing #elton john

hawkeyedwoman asked: Okay 1) I love this blog so much it's just hilarious and amazing who's behind this blog let me love you 2) I can't believe that i'm attracted to a 45 year old man when I am 13 is there something wrong with me and 3) The awkward moment when RDJ dressed like a woman is way prettier than I am

1. DARLING I’M FLATTERED. this is me and this is also me, depending on whether you prefer fandom flailing or A Very Serious Art Blog.

2. This is the part where I point and laugh because my dad was forty when I was born so I never have that awkward moment of “OMG CELEBRITY IS OLDER THAN MY DAD.”

3. that awkward moment where jude law dressed as a woman is way prettier than rdj dressed as a woman?

(and I’m sure you’re prettier than both of them actually. BECAUSE TBQH RDJ DRESSED AS A WOMAN IS INCREDIBLY TERRIFYING)

7:39 pm • 24 May 2012 • 1 note
#asks: I answer them #(sometimes) #personal blog #jude law is prettier than rdj as a woman #hawkeyedwoman #rdj #robert downey jr

ROBERT.

why yes I too enjoy accessorizing my pornstache with a pink-and-purple brimmed hat what is wrong with you.

3:00 pm • 24 May 2012 • 15 notes
#my mouth hurts really fucking bad #i will just keep updating y'all on my wisdom teeth in the tags #shut up nobody cares about your teeth #robert downey jr #rdj #robertwhatareyoudoing

ROBERT.

are you shufflin every day? is that’s what going on in this picture?

I mean besides the infinitely wise decision to wear orange tennis shoes with a black pinstriped suit.

and then also putting on a green coat with a bright red inside lining.

not to mention the super great decision to wear sunglasses that match your shoes robert. what were you thinking.

7:32 am • 24 May 2012 • 38 notes
#my snark is still kinda broken #wisdom teeth will be the death of me #Robert Downey Jr #rdj #robertwhatareyoudoing

ROBERT.

i am still drugged out of my mind on painkillers and I have lost all ability to be snarky so I will just say

omfg you are so goodlooking in this picture holy wow.

although i think it has something to do with the hair please wear a buzzcut at all times sir.

and did you raid hiddles’ closet for that outfit? I mean it’s kind of his signature.

8:24 pm • 23 May 2012 • 25 notes
#robertwhatareyoudoing is sometimes minus snark #Robert Downey Jr #rdj #robertwhatareyoudoing #hiddles

ROBERT.

it is wednesday and I have just lost my wisdom teeth so I have decided to tell you

WELL DONE ON THIS OUTFIT.

you are very good-looking and I like your hair when it is that short. keep doing that. your head is quite shapely to be honest.

12:53 pm • 23 May 2012 • 15 notes
#i am not snarky at all #my facee hurtssssssss guyssss #ouch #robert downey jr #rdj #robertwhatareyoudoing #wednesday outfit success

mrsjimgordon asked: RDJ, please. We know it's you behind this blog. Maybe if you hadn't made it so darn smart and funny, you wouldn't have been caught out. Chill on the awesomeness dude, m'kay. I can barely handle it.

FUCK

YOU CAUGHT ME

I can’t tame the awesome, though, my awesomeness is equivalent to an actual tiger. there’s no stopping it. sorry.

~~not actually sorry at all.~~

11:55 pm • 22 May 2012 • 7 notes
#YES THE SECRET IS OUT I AM RDJ #(I am not actually rdj) #i am also not sure where that tiger metaphor came from #rdj #robert downey jr #asks: I answer them #(sometimes) #this is the best PR for this blog #mrsjimgordon

ROBERT.

actually to be honest with you I’m impressed by this one.

really.

I hadn’t thought it was possible to turn a mirror into a piece of cloth and then cut it up to make a suit WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.

and then not only are you wearing what absolutely must be the shiniest suit in the universe you have combined it with sequins. see-through brown sequined shirt.

AND. and. and. PURPLE. SUNGLASSES.

robert. I can’t even.

10:22 pm • 22 May 2012 • 206 notes
#i can't even think of snarky tags #sequins #robert downey jr #rdj #mirror suit #robertwhatareyoudoing #see my snark is completely broken #otp: rdj/purple